If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
