If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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