then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she smelled like a LAN party
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Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
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Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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