I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
