i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
