he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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