i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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