: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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