VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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