But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Acid is not a monday night drug
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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