shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
