people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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