Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize