Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
