I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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