im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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