There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
