Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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