just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
