i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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