Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
