guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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