You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
