i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
that is very illegal...i love you.
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