He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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