You really coming over, don't trick.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Be still, my beating vagina.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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