Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
this will be a night to untag.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
