Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
