well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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