Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
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At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
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This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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