i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
