i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize