and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize