call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
