i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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