You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
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