Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
