Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
