i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
