We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
