yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize