I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
