Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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