I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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