Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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