hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
