C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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