He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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