I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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