one word: firstdatebathroomanal
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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