he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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