I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
