I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
