She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Randomize
