I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
