never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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