So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
