fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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