i would punch a child for taco bell
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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