What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You made out with two different species that night
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
