I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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