Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
